"My Name Is Depression" (A Mental Health Profile)

If I could snap my fingers to disappear from off the face of the Earth and make everybody forget I ever existed then I would do it. I'm not suicidal, nor have any desire to harm myself or others, but sometimes I think I would be better off forgotten about and others would be better off forgetting about me. I don't even want to remember me or each day that goes by.

For all my laughing, smiling, joking, talent, accomplishments, social media, and perceived intelligence I'm not sure if I truly make a difference in anyone's life, or if I matter at all. Maybe I'm meant to be alone and die lonely. I can handle being alone, but being lonely is not based on who's around you. Don't try to figure me out or fix me; especially if you never listened to me before anyway. 

I've heard it all before from those who don't listen or don't want to be bothered, so I'll stop talking and just keep to myself. I try to do what everyone wants me to do on cue so they think I'm still here, but mentally & spiritually I've checked out and the light is off. I'm just going through the motions. I've been effectively on auto-pilot like a functional addict, but without an addiction. 

The truth I hate about me chases me and the lies corner me. People call me what they think my name is based on the face I'm wearing when they see me, but they rarely actually see me. I'm very good at hiding, and thanks to negative reinforcement I've become an expert at it. Who am I really, you ask? My name is "DEPRESSION". ~ Mr. Blaktastic 

*For resources, help, and referrals dealing with depression or any other mental health concerns please contact "Ourselves Black" at http://ourselvesblack.com/home, Ebony Magazine's link for mental health resources at https://www.ebony.com/life/black-mental-health-resources, Black News.com link for mental health resources at http://www.blacknews.com/directory/black_african_american_health.shtml, the "Crisis Text Hotline" at https://www.crisistextline.org/textline, or "A Place of Hope" at 1-888-771-5166 & 425-771-5166 or at info@aplaceofhope.com.